I’m going to Kenya to volunteer for three months. I am departing on May 4. The idea only came up about a month ago, and I booked my flight a few weeks ago. I am way nervous.

And I’m a planner. A big planner.

I have a packing list on Google Documents (so that I can check it from any computer with internet access, at any time) and I open it every time I think of something to add. Usually it’s like, “Oh my God, what if I forget to bring Advil!” so I open my packing list and discover that yes, I have already added “Advil” under “Essential Medications.”

Almost every heading on my list is called “Essential _____.”

I’ve also started this new habit where I do some research every night before bed. This usually consists of reading a stranger’s blog who goes on entry after entry about how much they miss their family. I’m a person that gets homesick, so this isn’t very encouraging. And yet every night I spend a good hour reading up on people’s experiences. Last night I read about this Kenyan tribe that only lets you wear red if you’ve killed a lion before. Oh no! After shutting down my computer, I lay stiffly on my back in bed with my eyes wide open, imagining scenarios that involved me accidentally wearing red, accidentally being around this tribe, and accidentally signing up for lion watch duty.

So far, other nightmares include: getting AIDS, getting typhoid, getting yellow fever, getting dehydrated, getting cholera, getting _____ (fill in the blank with your favourite disease or infection), forgetting to pack malaria pills, forgetting to pack tampons, forgetting to pack shoes, forgetting to pack _____ (fill in the blank with your favourite essential item or medication).

Sometimes I’m not confident that I’ve made the right decision. Will I be helpful? Will I learn and gain experience? Will I live?

I really hope so.

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Lisa Farlow is also blogging about her experience at Mom, I’m Still Alive.  She will spend 3 months this summer in Kikima, Kenya, teaching at a school, helping out at an orphanage, and trying to learn more about herself and the world.

Editor’s Note: Stay tuned for updates on Lisa’s international volunteer experience!