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I was 8. And I trusted them.
They seemed so caring. So loving. Parents, ppffft.
They looked at my disgust, my disapproval of the so-called food they put in front of me and shrugged their shoulders.
They just put more of it in their mouths, making pleasing sounds, “mmmmm” and “yyyuuummm.”
So I shrugged my shoulders and put the food in my mouth.
It was liver. … a.k.a. fart in solid form.
If I knew then what I know now, I would have yelled, “Liars!”
And then demanded bacon.
But haven’t we all gotten fooled like that? Aren’t we still?
We buy bags of chips labled “no trans fat.” Well, shit, chips never had trans fat.
And taco salad!!??!! I mean, c’mon!!!
And more recently, with consumers becoming more environmentally-conscious, companies are reverting to “greenwashing,” placing eco-friendlyish labels on their products or running ads that lie about its product’s sustainability.

Clean coal. (Lies.)
Plastic, eco water bottles. (Lies.)
The gas-friendly Hummer H3! Now with 20 MPG! (I just threw up a little in my mouth.)
Go down aisles of your local stores and you’ll see lines of greenwashing labels on all kinds of products – laundry detergent, household cleaning supplies, plastic forks. All with labels such as “organic,” “bio-degradable,” “natural.”
On top of that, they’ll hike the price. And you, the consumer, think you’re compensating for your wallet by saving the world.
You might as well burn a forest down by lighting up a roll of 20s.
Do not be fooled. An uninformed consumer hurts us all.

Lucky for us, there are crazies out there called activists. And they’re here to stick it to the man.
– Greenwashingindex.com is a site by The EnviroMedia that lists fraudulent products and ads and helps consumers get involved in stopping the practice. It also lists legitimate green products and companies.
– Terrachoice (terrachoice.com) is a environmental marketing firm that helps companies go green. It also informs consumers on what to look for in buying products that are actually green.
– StopGreenwashing.org is self-explanatory, no? Kind of like Kilt Lifter.
– Greenwashing.net lists even more offenders.
– Consumerreports.org also has a greenwashing section on its site.

But not all is lost. There are also legitimate eco-friendly products out there. And the only way to know which product is green is to be informed.
Tell the big shots, greenwashing won’t work on us. Buy the real thing. Don’t read the oohs and ahhs or hear the mmms and yuuummms.
Stand up. Demand bacon.

Save the world. Save your green.
So you’re done eating your eggs and stinking up the room with your gas.
And now you have an empty egg carton.
Throw it away?
Not if you want an awesome lamp. Or a three-legged table.
Yes, you’ll have to wait awhile to resurrect your junk. But even Jesus needed three days.
OK, maybe you won’t make that lampshade or build a four-foot table. But the idea is to think about what else can an object do? What else can it be? Besides trash?
Can a Folgers can become a flower pot? Well, if you cut it in half, you’ll have two!
Zing!
What about that cool postcard, greeting card, or thank-you card? Well, you can liven up your house by framing them and using them as art.
So be creative. Be amazing. Be McGyver.

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Odeen Domingo is writing a bi-weekly column on eco-friendly topics for HandsIn.org. He is a newspaper journalist and the editorial director of eeko studio, a green design and branding firm based in Phoenix, Ariz. (eekostudio.com; blog.eekostudio.com)